On a private flight to San Francisco, NBA Commissioner Adam Silver was catching up with a long-lost friend he hadn’t seen in months.
Larry O.
Larry had been sleeping for months, so Silver had to fill in some voids before he arrived at the Chase Center. But, as is customary, there are two parts after the finals, reconnecting in October before the new season begins.
Below is a transcript of the (fictitious) conversation obtained by Yahoo Sports, edited for clarity.
Larry Oh: Adam! The last thing I remember was the Finals, where Boston did really well against Golden State. Young players who have carried them through the season, a great young coach, Ime Udoka. They must have a really cool future, right?
Adam Silver: Well, hey, hey. That Ime Udoka, he has had some issues that have kept him out of the team this season. He was embroiled in a minor scandal.
Larry: scandal?
Adam: Yes, he had an inappropriate relationship with another member of the organization. It’s against company protocol. And it’s a really awkward and sensitive situation.
Larry: It looks really ugly.
Adam: Well, I was disappointed to say the least. He’s a bright star, but I’m not sure about his future with the Celtics or the league.
Larry: Golden State, you should be proud of the Warriors, right? They are a picture of organizational stability and harmony! Stephen Curry, Klay Thompson, Draymond Green —
Adam: Well, about Draymond.
Larry: what happened to draymond
Adam: He… recently punched a teammate at practice.
Larry: No!
Adam: And… TMZ got the footage. Before you ask, it wasn’t Steph. It was Jordan Poole, with whom he was really close. A truly dire situation. He’s been away from the team for a while, but I’ll be there to give him the championship ring on opening night.
Larry: Didn’t you suspend him?
Adam: No, let the Warriors do it. I didn’t want to interfere in the team’s affairs. I was told on his Twitter in the NBA that these things happen all the time.
Larry: Come to think of it, Adam, you had your hands full with Phoenix. It’s been quite a long search, but when you last checked, you were nearing a conclusion. Any ideas?
Adam: Hooray! After my findings, I suspended Robert Thurber for his one year.
Larry: Not a lifetime, like you did with Donald Sterling all those years ago?
Adam: not exactly. I had to walk deftly. After suspending him for a year, the sponsors were so upset by the findings that they threatened not to renew, so Thurber is now looking for a buyer for the team.
(Two fist bumps.)
Larry: Skillful, isn’t it?
Adam: Skillfully.
Larry: Well, I remember being pretty unhappy with Kevin Durant on the big stage. He seems to be in a happy space now.
Adam: he is now
Larry: now?
Adam: Well, he went through this phase — you know these millennials — where he asked for a one-minute tradeout from Brooklyn.
Larry: Didn’t the Nets give him everything he wanted? Something with his coach, Kyrie?
Adam: Yes, but he was looking for a way out. Maybe he liked Miami or Phoenix. But he’s back in Brooklyn and they’re trying to make it work.
Larry: That’s not right. These trade requests are usually followed by … trades. why this time?
Adam: The Nets just… declined to trade him. So it’s going to be Kevin and Kylie and Ben Simmons trying to make it work. Even though he asked that the coach and GM be fired.
Larry: This sounds like confusion.
Adam: Yes, but they didn’t trade him.
Larry: noble concept. Does that mean Knicks is New York’s flagship franchise?
Adam: not really. They don’t answer my phone. Or talk to the media.
Larry: New York…New York…City?
Adam: …
Larry: yeah yeah draft! I am very much looking forward to meeting a tall and skinny girl named Chet.
Adam: It’s Chet Holmgren.
Larry: yes.
Adam: he’s been out for a while Probably that year. He injured himself during the summer Pro-Am. Defend LeBron with haste.
Larry: Oklahoma City, right? He’ll be out all year round, I’m betting. So Adam, what should I look forward to?
Adam: Well, Zion is back. And so does Kawhi after a knee injury off that year. And LeBron is chasing Kareem’s all-time scoring record. And I think Ja and Luca and Embiid are all pretty great.
Larry: In other words, the game is the leading role.
“Yes,” Silver says with a smile. “It’s all about the game.”
Saying so, the friend smiled back and thanked Silver for taking the time before he was shuffled off to San Francisco for ring night.
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